i had… well have, since i haven’t completed any of them… three very different grading tasks this weekend: participation grades, vocab quizzes, and 2nd drafts of compositions. which is frustrating because 1) it takes a million hours to do that much grading, and 2) these tasks are all very different in the way that they make me feel about my students, and therefore about teaching, and therefore about Life.
i’d much prefer to spend my saturday the way i… well, mostly did. got up early, drank tea, made bread dough, removed layer of sleet from car, moved car into garage, set bread dough on the floor over a heat vent, drank tea, cut/grated/seasoned many vegetables to be put into veggie wraps for the week’s lunch, washed the cat (!), drank tea, did 4 loads of laundry, swept, vacuumed, drank tea. thought in the general direction of a composition i have to write. ran my eyes over some of my seminar reading. wished it would stop snowing. drank tea.
i’m so torn about whether i want to continue in grad school. in the midst of my large heap of grading, i’m not so sure i want to spend the rest of my life doing this, either. plus, with the semester conversion approaching and a large number of changes to my program coming with it, i feel like i owe it to my colleagues to stick around and try to impose some order on the department. yet… seminar papers? ugh. mainly i hope that i will not hear back from the goethe institut, partially because i do not want to live in new york city (no offense, sinkie), and partially because it would be really convenient if hannah’s job offers or lack thereof would just make the decision for me. there you have it. i am a bum.
meanwhile, i pass the occasional half hour looking at apartments and houses for rent in denver on craigslist. and the kitten is curled up as a little cinnamon bun on gramma june’s heat blanket, smelling like kitten shampoo and not yet entirely trusting enough to return to our laps downstairs.