Tag Archives: list

just this…

1) i am so addicted to hadestown.  if you like folk music and haven’t heard it, you should.

2) potato and caramelized onion tart currently in the oven.  sprinkled with fresh sage.  house smells heavenly.  plus i made mine in my pretty fluted tart pan instead of as a free-form galette like it is in the recipe, which was very gourmet cook of me.

3) this makes me happy on so many geek-and-gayness levels:

Love is Love: Threadless tee

Love is Love. Note the wizard and the alien.

4) i spent all morning pounding away at my reading list for MA exams (t-minus 902 hours), and now have done all my medieval and early modern works except for poetry.  and then i read walter benjamin, and now my brain is broken.  plan of attack for the rest of the week (because if i post it here, i’ve committed to it, right?):
~wednesday: finish der schimmelreiter and walter benjamin outline
~thursday: make medieval and early modern poetry flashcards, make literary history flashcards
~friday: study all pre-1700 flashcards, start adorno texts and outlines


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Filed under Cooking, Journal

i am conflicted about THE WORLD

THE WORLD gives me writer’s block.  THE WORLD makes me paralyzed.  the world is BIG and full of BAD THINGS and i live in it kind of.  and i have nothing to say about it.

there’s so much going on in THE WORLD.  six weeks ago it was the protests in egypt, then coming out of that, the continued unrest in libya, where a government is attacking its own people.  i started and deleted about six posts about these things.  for the last week, it’s been earthquakes, tsunamis, and now nuclear who-knows-what in japan.  i keep trying to have Something To Say about these events, these major WORLD HAPPENINGS AND CATASTROPHES, but i know next to nothing about middle eastern politics or nuclear power or rescue efforts or military strategy.

to write a blog post here in my dusty little corner of the internet giving my two cents about these things seems silly; what do i have to contribute?  even the headlines that do penetrate into my small bubble of existing seem to bounce right off.  gay marriage (or not)?  health care?  collective bargaining rights?  ohio cutting its higher education budget?  these things affect me directly, and i still can’t muster up meaningful words (um, thoughts) about them.

all this stuff is flying around my head, and i’m writing about:
– the ophelia myth in 20th century literature
– the unreasonable speed with which grey fluff builds up on white tile in my bathroom
– the fact that being in the basement when mal is playing upstairs  sounds like being underneath a convention of a major international bowling society
– the warmish weather and halleluja we’ve been able to open the windows a crack
– the cat goes bananas over said open windows

it all makes me a little jealous of my parents’ generation, or even my grandparents’ or great-grandparents’ generation.  where you inhabited your little bubble of being, and THE WORLD was kept at bay by sheer dint of distance, and newspaper headlines and rss feeds and twitter and facebook updates didn’t inundate you with IT IS SO MUCH WORSE EVERYWHERE ELSE and YOUR PROBLEMS AND SMALL TRIUMPHS ARE TRULY INSIGNIFICANT and make you doubt every bowl of cereal that you ate and every nap that you took and every page of literary analysis that you wrote.

THE WORLD MAKES ME CONFLICTED.  there is so much going on out there, and i’m struggling and struggling to make my little bubble of existence meaningful, and the failure of those two things to mesh is just making me miserable.  and if i spend the day glued to the NYT headlines, i feel like an insignificant bug, and if i go hide from my insignificantness in front of the TV or in a yoga class or in my kitchenaid mixer, i feel like an insignificant bug.  i feel like a nauseous, sad, insignificant bug.  this is not a post of self-pity, and i am not asking for comments saying OH BUT YOU ARE SIGNIFICANT WE LOVE YOU AND THERE ARE RAINBOWS YAY.  in fact, please do not say those things in comments.

i read books and talk about them, and i am good at that.  i teach language, and i am good at that.  i am trying to take those things, which i am good at and also which i like, and make them mesh into the world outside of my bubble.  so far, i have not been successful at this: the job i applied for in boston didn’t pan out, because they had so many qualified candidates (not me).  i guess i don’t know how to become qualified at something that makes a difference, because everybody else gets in the door first because they are already more qualified.

…i’m going to go make bread now, and pay my taxes.


Filed under Essay, Journal

things to do and places to go

being as it’s the end of week 8 of 10, the checklist begins:
– article review/critique on demian, 1000 words
– 24 independent project essays to grade, 500 words each
– read a novel, a book of short stories, and 2 plays
– 24 “character sketches” to grade, 200 words each
– cult fiction paper, 2500 words
– epic theater paper, 5000+ words
– 24 final exams to grade

also, i made you a mix tape! here ’tis:



Filed under Journal

is it dinnertime yet?

currently in the process of 1) not panicking about the conference in two days and 2) applying for two jobs in boston.  since the best technique for the former seems to be to ignore it, i think i shall post about the latter…

one of them is for the steppingstone foundation in boston, which supports underserved but dedicated students in getting a good education.  plus bob clagett, midd dean of admissions who really liked me when i worked in the admissions office, is on their board of trustees, so i can drop some namez.  i would be doing some curriculum development (i assume for their summer school program), some activity development, some family support/outreach, and some counseling of students.  it is really appealing to have a giving-back-related job on my plate, because most of the non-profit jobs i’d found elsewhere require things like peace corps experience or a social work degree, neither of which i have.  and after 2 years in academia, fully ignoring the outside world, i feel like this would be a good step for me.

the other job in boston is teaching german classes through the goethe institut.  which would be kind of grand, because it would allow me to continue teaching without having to achieve pesky public school credentials.  a lot of the materials i’ve developed, especially my grammar packets, are quite a hot commodity among my colleagues this year, and i feel pretty good about myself as a teacher (recent german 104 essays and exams notwithstanding).  and i like teaching!  i taught a fun and good lesson today, which is always thoroughly satisfying.

there’s also the fact that i just updated my academic cv to include the 2 conferences i’ll be presenting at this spring (one in kentucky, one in washington dc) and the book review that i wrote that will be published (!), which makes me feel excellently academic and intellectual and inclined to name my next pet archimedes or something.

things i miss right now:
my parents and sisters, my middlebury friends and professors
pho!  it has been too long!
my grandmother and her sappy barbara streisand addiction
ballet, theater, and choir.  le sigh.
crocheting, preferably while watching firefly

coconut lentil soup simmering on the stove, cat watching me type, fro-yo date tonight.  no conference.  don’t know what you’re talking about.

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Filed under Journal